Obligations & Opportunities
Can my flawless example of hard work get everyone totally committed?
“You've got to manage your get-to’s and got-to’s,” a former mentor of mine, Vance Caesar, (one of the most sought-after executive coaches in Southern California) said to me many years ago.
I'll never forget that because so much of our days are filled with a belief in our obligation instead of our opportunities. With this reluctant acceptance though subtle in communication, I undo my own power by using language that makes me a bystander of my choice. In the past I have said…
"I can't because I'm too busy."
"My calendar is full."
"I would, but I've got to…"
"I should have done…"
In the previous edition of The Insightful Leader, I wrote about moving a team to Total Commitment, and that I drive them forward by my example. But what about after that? Will my hard work and flawless example get everyone to give as much as I am?
The Leader initiates "total commitment" in the culture's oxygen by providing a bigger reason to exist.
And they need to see and believe that I am totally committed to that why. The first step in that journey is to use powerful language that shows purpose.
While some would contend that it's how late I stay in the office or send emails into the wee hours of the morning that proves my total commitment, in fact, those examples potentially undermine trust. That's not to say that hard work and demonstration are unimportant. To the contrary, it is essential. Just like competency, effort is a "ticket to the dance". Will you focus on the ticket or the "dance"?
Through powerful language we, as the leaders, get the opportunity to lead the mindset. When we influence that, what we are doing is on purpose, and we set ablaze power in us and others. That's why our choice of language is a part of the "dance" and so vital to the health of the team. To demonstrate commitment and to gain it, we shift the way we present what is going on.
When I use language to show I am committed, I am operating under "get-to" instead of “got-to.”
"We get to meet today."
"I get to be with our clients this afternoon."
"This morning I get to exercise."
"This weekend, I get to be with my kid at their activity."
"Today, I get to see the doctor for my colonoscopy…" (Yes, even this!)
Any use of "got to" or "have to" provides an unspoken belief that you are not in control. That’s poison for you and your team. As the Leader, your team needs to know that you move on purpose. Eliminating obligations is empowering to the Leader as much as it binds commitment in the team. Why? Because it drives us to believe in what we do, and that it is important. When something is important you get it done faster, better, and more efficiently than you do your obligations. The benefit in everything must be in front of us, and if we cannot see a benefit, maybe it should be dropped until we find one.
A tenet of my faith in God says that the tongue is the rudder of my ship. In other words, what I say steers me. Another CIO friend of mine used to say the mouth leads the body. I believe this is physiologically true. How do you feel when you are working an opportunity verses an obligation? Any physical or mental difference??
Here is the secret...
When we manage our get-to’s and got-to’s, our teams grow stronger because they believe that the Leader is driving on purpose. That mindset leads in a way that provides healthy oxygen for the organization to totally commit. Of course, our efforts are key to showing everyone that we are totally committed as leaders - no doubt. The simplest add to the obvious part of effort, comes in the way we speak and think.
Another key area for getting "Total Commitment" comes through the way we speak and think about feedback. In the next Insightful Leader, I'll spend some time delivering uncomfortable messages through the "Kind Truth" and why that can also drive "Total Commitment."
Great Leaders ensure that the oxygen (aka "culture") provided for the organization is healthy and people-centered. This perspective gets the best results. Can I help yours?